Gaara's First
by misto-shadow
Summary: Sakura mourns, Gaara questions. Short chat, short fic, short summary. Fluff, serious tone in the beginning, lighthearted end. Enjoy. GaaSaku


**Disclaimer-** Own nuthin.

First

She stood, dead silent in the middle of the rain. It was raining God's tears, because he was dead. The one she had pined for most of her young life was dead, killed by the one who sought after his body and power. She was broken by the occurrence, and with the help of her blonde knuckleheaded friend and her teacher with the lone Sharingan eye she helped the passed Uchiha to finish his goal. It wouldn't be right to say his goal in life, because he was gone, so they worked for him as he lie still in the grave. Now his brother was also there, and Orochimaru as well.

But she was still broken inside, still hurting. No comfort from her other team mate could heal the brokenness, no one could. At least, she thought no one could. But she was wrong, and for that she was glad. But before we get into such joys, it would be best to share the heartache first. Sakura turned her head up to the sky and let the rain wash over her pale skin, chilling her to the bone and raising goose bumps on her arms.

The only thing going through her head was the thought of his lifeless body, lying still in the casket. The next thing she remembered was when they lowered him down into the earth to rest there for all time. She fled the scene at that moment, unable to deal with the overwhelming amounts of pain that wracked her heart. It hurt so badly that she wanted to puke and to die right then, but her life wasn't just going to drift away at whim.

Sakura shook her head to rid herself of the hurtful thoughts, and she collapsed in the mud. It dirtied the red of her dress and darkened her skin with its slimy self, cooling her skin further. Salty tears dripped from her cheeks and mingled with the rainwater, swirling into the mud. She choked back a sob and stared at the soggy grass beyond the field of mud, eyes dull. She couldn't bring herself to let go of what might've been if she had just been stronger.

"What are you doing?" A masculine voice drifted to her from behind, and it was utterly cool and uninterested. She didn't bother turning to see who was invading her alone time.

"Mourning. Please leave me alone." She sighed and sunk her hand into the mud, thoughts drifting from the unknown male who had spoken to her.

"Why do you mourn, Sakura?" The voice called again, and she clenched her fist in annoyance. Why couldn't this person leave her alone?

"I've lost someone dear to me, now go away!" Her voice cracked, and her tears burned at her eyes.

For a moment there was silence, and the Haruno girl had almost dared to hope that the person had left, but he had done no such thing. A hand rested on her shoulder, gripping tightly. It wasn't a soothing touch, but one that demanded her full attention. She whipped her head around and her eyes flashed angrily, not faltering when they fell upon the stoic face of Gaara, Kazekage of the Village Hidden in the Sand.

"Tell me, what is it like to truly mourn the loss of someone dear? I do not know." He said, his gaze steady and emotionless.

Sakura did not push him away again, nor did she turn from him. There was a small spark in her heart that reached out to him, for he had no to care for. Everyone turned him away, but she would not. She had grown to be a friend of his, even if he didn't see it that way. He came to Konoha often, visiting with Tsunade on business or requesting assistance in some matter. She had spoken to him often, even if he didn't talk back most of the time, leaving her to make conversation on her own. But what she didn't know was that he appreciated her attention, it was something he never had before, and he liked it in a way.

"What does it feel like, Sakura?" He pressed on her shoulder with the slightest amount of extra pressure, but she didn't wince. She knew pain, and she knew that physical pain was nothing compared to pain of the heart.

"Gaara, have you ever had a pain in your heart, so much that it felt like it was killing you from the inside out?" She whispered, and his eyes flashed with a recognition of sorts.

He knew. He remembered his days of lonely childhood, when Yashimaru turned on him. He remembered the scorn everyone held for him, he knew of the pain she spoke. Even now it hurt, knowing that they still held malice for all those he killed in his days of adolescence.

"Yes." He couldn't help but feel connected to the girl in the way of pain. She hurt like he did, and he wished that she wouldn't. She was the closest thing he had to a friend, and he knew that friends protected friends from hurt. But, he didn't know how to protect her from a wound to the heart.

"It's like that, but it's a little different. Loosing someone very dear to you…it makes your whole chest ache with such a strength it feels like you have a hole there, pulling you into its misery. It's so…..devastating." She whispered, tears pricking at her eyes and causing her muscles to tense and strain against the wave of sorrow.

"The Uchiha…that's the one you mourn, correct?" Gaara sat down behind her, his hand still resting on her shoulder.

"Yes." Sakura bit out her reply, trying not to cry again. She didn't want to look so weak and emotional in front of the Kazekage, a friend who she thought would look down on her for being in such a state.

"I know loss. Once, when I was very young, I lost the only one who I thought cared about me. I killed him. Before he told me he had hated me all my life for killing his sister when I was born, I felt a terrible ache in my chest. I think that might be what it feels like to mourn the loss of someone, but I am not certain. It was such a quick feeling, I barely remember it. As soon as he told me why he tried to kill me, I no longer felt that aching, but a hatred for his life. Everything he told me when I was growing up was just a lie…" His hand clenched the fabric on Sakura's shoulder, a sign of his irritation.

Sakura reached back with her muddy hand and covered his, the cool brown muck sliding off her skin and onto his, then down to her shoulder. In an instant the hand under hers relaxed, and she scooted around to face the moody redhead. His brow was slightly furrowed, but other than that he showed no sense of emotion. He dropped his hand from her shoulder and took hers along with it, landing softly on the muddy ground.

It was an odd sight, one might say. The gourd carrying boy and the bubblegum haired girl sitting in the rain and mud, holding hands and showing no real affection other than that. Sakura stared into the loveless boys' eyes, her own emeralds soft with a sense of caring in them. Gaara stared back, his cyan orbs totally blank. But inside he felt…something. Understanding? Compassion? He did not know, for he was one who never grew to know emotions. He was only familiar with hate, and that had come with Shukaku.

"Gaara…is that why you don't let anyone in? Because you're afraid they'll lie and pretend they care and then turn around to stab you in the back?" His eyes flashed for an instant, and he turned his head away.

Sakura watched him for a while, a calculating gaze watching his profile. In truth, she had grown to hold an affection deep in her heart for the sand wielder, one that was similar to how she felt for her old Uchiha team mate. But it was different in a way, it wasn't some fangirl crush of a lifetime, it was stronger than that, and less…..creepy. Closer to love, you might say. The eye she could see turned in her direction, and she tilted her head and raised her eyebrows. Gaara sighed and crossed his arms, still looking at her. She didn't move, and he turned back to face her.

"That's all I have ever known in my life; deceit, hatred. I am forbidden to love, and in turn no one loves me. I don't care about such meaningless things as friendship and comradery. I choose to let no one in because they have to right to be there." He blinked slowly and watched Sakura's brow furrow and a look of hurt flash in her eyes.

"Even me? I have no right to be close to you?" Gaara looked terribly confused for a moment, and then he became stoic once more.

"I never knew you had the want to be close to such a...being as myself. Why would you want that?" Invisible brows slid together, and a drop of rain rolled off his nose.

Sakura lowered her eyes and looked away, not able to meet his gaze. Gaara gripped her hand harder and forced her eyes back to his, and she looked like a deer in headlights under his scrutiny. For a few seconds the sand wielding Kazekage stared her down and vice gripped her hand, then his face relaxed somewhat and his hold on her fingers loosened.

"Sakura, answer me. I will not be refused an explanation." He was very gruff, but the bubblegum haired girl could hear the awkward undertone he tried to cover up. She wasn't surprised, the redhead had never been in such a situation before.

"I...I don't want you to be alone anymore. It's not right...everyone needs a somebody to care, even you." She steeled herself and kept her eyes focused on his, and she saw his hairless brow rise.

"You...you really believe that you can make a difference? After all those _others_ who said they could, after those who promised something and only hurt me in the end, after all that I went through, you still think you can help? Fool." Gaara turned away again, his face set and unreadable. He dropped Sakura's hand like he had just touched fire.

For a moment she didn't know what to do. She had expected a little better than that. She thought if she showed a little more that he would understand and let down that grainy guard of his. But when she thought about it, she knew that wasn't going to be enough, just telling him she wanted to be the one to care. There was so much more to it, and he needed to understand she was willing to take the good and the bad instead of trying to change him all in one day. She sighed and scooted through the mud, coming mere inches from the moody boy.

His eyes narrowed, but that was all that changed. No sand wall, no angry snarl, nothing. That had to mean something, didn't it? He wasn't rejecting her at least. Sakura made the final move, holding her breath. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around him, breath still hitched in her throat. The next few moments were tense and deathly silent, kunoichi still not breathing.

"Please, Gaara. Please." She let out the stale air from her lungs, a tiny smile drifting up to her lips when his tense body relaxed under her arms.

He sighed, lifting a hesitant arm and wrapping it around the content girls' shoulders. The rain kept on pouring down, and in his mind this day was engraved. This...this day, this was the day he got his very first hug. Sakura snuggled closer and lifted her head. In one fluid moment she leaned in and gently pressed her lips on his wet cheek, then ducked her head back down and buried it in his side, unsure of what kind of reaction she was going to get. Had she gone too far?

Gaara's eyes widened and he lifted his head to stare at the sky, avoiding the sight of the girl completely. He looked like a little boy who had just been kissed. His cheeks were tinged red and he was trying extremely hard not to smile and rub his head like he was embarrassed. Okay, this was now the day he had received his first hug _and_ his first kiss. Eh, maybe this 'caring' thing wasn't half bad after all.

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Yay!! My first GaaraxSakura fic! This is so bad...I just can't seem to pick which pairing is better for her, eh? Well, I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot, and please don't bite me or anything for not working on my Inuyasha fic. I think I need to get back to that, seeing as how I did abandon it for a couple months...well anywho! Tell me what you think, and as always, I would be glad to hear any questions, comments, or advice you have for me! This is probably one of my shortest one-shots, so it's probably a bit rushed and crap...I suck at writing short stories, so deal. Anywho, I would really (really!) appreciate some feedback, so don't hesitate to review! I'm just a desperate little soul, you know...I have no life away from the computer. I know I'm sad, shut up. Well, valete until next time!

Mistoffelees Shadow


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